~ here's your sign ~

     While out and about running errands today we took time to stop for lunch.  As is my habit, I people watch when I'm not occupied in conversation.  Sometimes it is difficult to NOT watch people because they call attention to themselves so readily.
     Today was a bit different.  It seemed as if I were observing the scene before me in the restaurant through an infrared filter, in that it appeared that people were holding signs identifying their individual issue.  If each had been standing on a corner begging for handouts from the passersby, rather than "Homeless," or "Disabled  Veteran," or "unemployed single mom" their signs said,  "rejected for being overweight," "starving for attention," "abused husband," "hate my job," "changed my major 6 times" "he's mad because I overdrew the bank account"  "contemplating suicide."
     As I walked to the counter for a drink refill, I could see signs all around me and I was nearly overcome with the impact of emotion that swept over me.  I was startled because I have actually seen a video that was produced by some church somewhere that used that very type of scenario as a message to their flock.  But this was personal, this was real for me.
     It was difficult to dwell on it for too long with a toddler in need of a nap in the backseat, but I did meditate on that experience for quite a while this afternoon.  As a group of friends gathered for dinner, the topic of being "offended" came up.  I listened to these 20-somethings discuss some office matter and the resulting drama, etc.  Then they began to share some very thoughtful comments that made me admire these young adults as they expressed empathy and compassion for others by saying that you don't know what the other person experienced or is going through that made them act out in such a way.  Absolutely correct.  If only more humans would be so conscientious and generous of spirit.
     I don't know what that whole moment was about at lunch, but it was definitely thought provoking and I won't soon forget it.  I don't know why that waitress spoke in that tone of voice, or that teller, clerk, or receptionist acted or spoke the way that they did that day I encountered them.  But I am most certain that I will check my own heart before I respond next time.
I hope that you will too.

The Wordsmith

~ stopping to smell the roses - really? ~

     Every time I start a project, I will plan, dream, build the vision in my head of what the end product will be like.  And then reality happens.  There is always some shortfall, pitfall, side-swipe, or road block of some fashion.  Whether it is time limitations, expectations (my own and those of other people), finances, etc, etc, etc.  I have spent 35+ years trying to meet the goals, benchmarks, and expectations of other people - teachers, parents, clients, bosses, board of directors, or whoever.  But recently, I heard the best therapy advice that money can't buy.  Stop it.
     Yep.  Stop it. That was all to the therapy advice. Stop it.
     Stop trying to be a perfectionist.  Stop trying to manage everything on my own. Stop trying to meet the needs of other people to the exclusion of my own needs.  Stop cramming my schedule so full that I have no time to exercise, or to rest, or to just stop and smell the roses.  So, a few weeks ago I did just that.  I stopped.  I know, right?  I stopped.
     I had taken a short roadtrip to see my elderly grandmother.  On the way home I was meditating and listening to some soothing tunes as I drove through gorgeous countryside.  Usually I do not like to drive when it is raining because rains can vary dramatically- light, drippy, torrential (w/winds), heavy and gloomy, - especially if it is at night.  In one particular place I had lived several years ago, I had to commute several hundred miles at different times during the year.  In that part of the country, heavy rains were often accompanied by flash floods or tornadoes so I never wanted to get caught driving in potentially bad weather, especially alone.
     But on this particular Sunday afternoon, as I drove and listened to the soothing music, it just invited me into the landscape.  A couple of the tunes are from a particular series that incorporate instrumental music with nature sounds that have been recorded in various national parks around the country.  The gurgling streams, dripping rain, animals grunts, and bird calls combined with the mist on my windshield soothed the chaotic thoughts running amuck in my brain.
     The speed limit reduced considerably for the rural community I was passing through.  But that day, the winding river that peeked between the trees and the majestic mountains beckoned me to get out of the car.  I knew there was a long "to do" list on the edge of my desk at home and my laptop seldom sat idle...but today was about location.  Location and opportunity.  Opportunity wasn't knocking, it was calling my name.
So I answered.
     Even though it was overcast and had begun to sprinkle, a short walk, the mountain air, skipping a few stones across the water was refreshing to my spirit.  I had my camera with me.  This wasn't the type of vacation or weekend get-away that a person dreams of as a respite from the work world to unwind and de-stress. Even as I snapped a few photos of the river and the surrounding mountains I thought how those images would not be album quality or noteworthy to anyone else.  But to me, they were monumental.
     I love history so road trips throughout the United States typically include numerous stops for me to read signs, historical markers, or take side roads to inspect a "scenic viewpoint". That day wasn't a complete "vacation-like" stand still, but if there was a "historical" marker placed beside that river it would say "she stopped to smell the roses on this spot."

~ becoming unraveled ~

     It's a long tale, but simple really.  While many may interpret "unraveled" as coming undone, being damaged, ruined, in need of repair...to me, it is about being unfettered, uninhibited, unleashed or unbridled by imposed expectations, bias, or muzzled by conventions.  Unchained rather than unhinged.
     I am the sort that is moved by words, so my taste in decor and art runs toward pieces that incorporate words in some fashion.  And recently, I saw a piece that simply said "she believed that she could...so she did."  That is me.  It is all of us.  Whether you believe you can or you believe you can't do a thing...it is so.