~~live~~

It's summer.  It seems like I feel more alive when the days lengthen with added sunlight and my body thaws out from a winter of hibernation.  I get busy with projects and putting my house in order from the winter's accumulation from school and such.  In the background there is always music playing.  To energize, the soothe, and to contemplate.
It was a contemplate moment that prompted today's entry.
It surprised me that the station had dug up such an older tune when they are labeled a "contemporary" station. But the words were relevant nonetheless.  My commentary is minimal because the lyrics say it all.  
Why do we wait?  Why do we hold grudges and unforgiveness? Why do we have dreams and plans for the future but barely enjoy the moment?  We are not meant to just survive, but thrive.  
~~The Wordsmith 

thrive - verb; 1. to prosper; be fortunate or successful. 2. to grow or develop vigorously; flourish:


excerpt from We Live 

Waking up to another dark morning

There is a man who waits for the tests
To see if the cancer has spread yet
And now he asks, "So why did I wait to live till it was time to die?"
If I could have the time back how I'd live
Life is such a gift
So how does the story end?
Well this is your story and it all depends
So don't let it become true
Get out and do what we are meant to do
We live we love
We forgive and never give up
'cause the days we are given are gifts from above
Today we remember to live and to love
We live we love
We forgive and never give up
'cause the days we are given are gifts from above
Today we remember to live and to love
People are mourning
The weather in life outside is storming
But what would it take for the clouds to break
For us to realize each day is a gift somehow, someway
So get our heads up out of the darkness
And spark this new mindset and start to live life 'cause it ain't gone yet
And tragedy is a reminder to take off the blinders
And wake up and live the life we're supposed to take up
Moving forward with all our heads up 'cause life is worth living

Songwriters: Justin Greaves / Justin Oborn / Robert Alissa

We Live lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.

~ don't fence me in ~

     If you follow this blog, you know that I write about the small and inconsequential things that can capture my attention but can teach a powerful lesson.  A recent drive through an unfamiliar rural area brought various types of fences to my attention.  Even when I was in grade school, I became captivated with words.  Their sound, especially the duality of meanings, and the power of rhyme and rhythm. As I contemplated the variety, my "teacher brain" was saying, "what other forms of this word do you know"?  Defense, defensive,offense, and offensive. Then like a meandering side road, my brain took a right turn.

     The old adage, "strong fences make for good neighbors" also came to mind.  But it was at this point that the ol' brain encountered a roadblock.  Wood, stone, and iron may make for decorative borders to mark the perimeter of one's property to provide privacy or keep the neighbor's pooch from burning squat spots on your lawn, but these other "fences" do not make for good neighbors; they don't make for healthy relationships at all.

     Whether you have constructed a "defense" around your life, your heart, or you are putting a fresh coat of paint on an "offense", both are interfering with your ability to connect with people around you.  We can become defensive when we have unhealed pain, trauma, rejection, loss, etc still hiding out in our heart.  Or if we have unforgiveness, resentment, bitterness, or jealousy then these have become the building blocks of a sturdy offense. What purpose does either serve in our life?

     Lack of trust or fear is usually at the root of the building of a defense or offense. I have learned (the hard way) that a posture of fear or distrust lays a foundation for misunderstandings which prepares the way for the fence to go up. The building can further continue with unmet or unreal expectations. But when we open ourselves up to deconstructing these fences, releasing resentments, forgiving ourselves and others, then healing can begin. Connecting with others without the interference of "fences" makes for much better relationships.

     I loved the sound of Karen Carpenter's voice and the wistful heartache in this song, Desperado.  When I later heard it also released by the Eagles it didn't have the same feel to it.  But the words follow this same trail I have wandered down today.  May the words take you on a journey to examine the borders of your own heart and find peace in your relationships.

Desperado    Karen Carpenter

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one but I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you can hurt you somehow

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin' but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you
You better let somebody love you before it's too late

--The Wordsmith --

~ beneath the surface ~

     It was a small local shop in an unfamiliar city, I had a little time to stroll leisurely and spend a few minutes browsing.  I was traveling so I didn’t need throw pillows, doo-dads or décor items, but it is always interesting to look and see something new.

     I like to repurpose items when possible and find new uses for vintage or unique items but this particular shop was way, way outside my box.  I wandered some more aisles, scanned a couple stacks of old books, browsed a shelf or two of bric-a-brac; nothing caught my eye as being something I would want to transport back home with me.  I’m in the process of streamlining and simplifying my life, not cluttering it up with dust-collectors.

     As I reached the back of the store and turned to make my way towards the exit, there was a small side table that held an eclectic collection of items for sale.  The table was painted a hideous color (*IMHO) but I admired the early American design with its curves and spindles.  Again, I am traveling by plane, so a table is not a check-able item that I could get back home with me, so it wasn’t a consideration.  But as I walked away, the image of that table was stuck in my mental photo file.

     It was obvious that the table had been repainted so many times that the engraved design on the side rail was nearly obscured by thick paint.  The spindle legs also had thick layers of paint that included drips which had dried as they cascaded downward.  As previously stated the color was garish and not in a palette that I would entertain in my home, but then the old adage is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 

Or is it?

     The table legs were sturdy and the joints tight.  The top was serviceable and secure enough to support the numerous glass items displayed across it with no apparent concern for their safety.  Had I seen this table closer to my home, had it been for sale, I probably would have purchased it despite the color.  The outer coat could be stripped off and repainted or refinished.  I enjoy a rewarding DIY project.

     When I was growing up, (which doesn’t seem that long ago) our family did not have expendable income for “extras.”  I learned creativity and resourcefulness borne out of frugality and a “make-do” mindset. This creativity and resourcefulness is also why I enjoy the HGTV channel with shows like Property Brothers and Fixer Upper.

     I believe that the saying “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is only true if the beholder is able to see the possibilities in the item they are beholding; this requires the ability to see past layers of garish paint, outdated appliances, faded and scarred flooring, or a  hodge-podge of rooms rather than an architectural jewel.  And this goes for people too.

During a conversation with a friend recently, they catalogued all of their faults, scars, bad ideas, baggage, and reasons why they were no longer usable.  While I attempted to be encouraging, I wish I had seen that table and had this “ah-ha” moment prior to that conversation in order to provide a better illustration for them. 

     I have a few family heirlooms, antiques if you need a label.  They may not have a “market value” but they have value to me, they are treasures because they belonged to my great-grandparents. While I am working to streamline and simplify my life of extraneous “stuff”, those will be with me for quite some time.  There is beauty and usefulness to them even though they are both well over 100 years old.  It is my belief that we are never too old to have value or be of use in some fashion.

     All of us have layers that have built up over the years, scars that mark us, or places where we feel loose, wobbly, or unstable.  Our joints may ache a bit, but we are able to use our heart and our words; faults and habits can be repaired when we rewire our thinking or mindsets;  scars add character and bring history to a piece of furniture so why not to humans as well.  I see potential and possibilities rather than something bound for the dump. Just like that table or some other DIY project may require scraping, sanding, and some reworking to restore it, so it is with people as well.  Develop vision, see the beauty beneath the surface and work to restore them and help them to find a new purpose when they feel cast off or pushed aside. We may be uncomfortable with the situations or people that are rough to be around and rub against our grain, but we must develop vision and the ability to see possibility and potential in ourselves and others.

     Behold, you are beautiful.

   

 The Wordsmith

*in my humble opinion

~ here's your sign ~

     While out and about running errands today we took time to stop for lunch.  As is my habit, I people watch when I'm not occupied in conversation.  Sometimes it is difficult to NOT watch people because they call attention to themselves so readily.
     Today was a bit different.  It seemed as if I were observing the scene before me in the restaurant through an infrared filter, in that it appeared that people were holding signs identifying their individual issue.  If each had been standing on a corner begging for handouts from the passersby, rather than "Homeless," or "Disabled  Veteran," or "unemployed single mom" their signs said,  "rejected for being overweight," "starving for attention," "abused husband," "hate my job," "changed my major 6 times" "he's mad because I overdrew the bank account"  "contemplating suicide."
     As I walked to the counter for a drink refill, I could see signs all around me and I was nearly overcome with the impact of emotion that swept over me.  I was startled because I have actually seen a video that was produced by some church somewhere that used that very type of scenario as a message to their flock.  But this was personal, this was real for me.
     It was difficult to dwell on it for too long with a toddler in need of a nap in the backseat, but I did meditate on that experience for quite a while this afternoon.  As a group of friends gathered for dinner, the topic of being "offended" came up.  I listened to these 20-somethings discuss some office matter and the resulting drama, etc.  Then they began to share some very thoughtful comments that made me admire these young adults as they expressed empathy and compassion for others by saying that you don't know what the other person experienced or is going through that made them act out in such a way.  Absolutely correct.  If only more humans would be so conscientious and generous of spirit.
     I don't know what that whole moment was about at lunch, but it was definitely thought provoking and I won't soon forget it.  I don't know why that waitress spoke in that tone of voice, or that teller, clerk, or receptionist acted or spoke the way that they did that day I encountered them.  But I am most certain that I will check my own heart before I respond next time.
I hope that you will too.

The Wordsmith

~ stopping to smell the roses - really? ~

     Every time I start a project, I will plan, dream, build the vision in my head of what the end product will be like.  And then reality happens.  There is always some shortfall, pitfall, side-swipe, or road block of some fashion.  Whether it is time limitations, expectations (my own and those of other people), finances, etc, etc, etc.  I have spent 35+ years trying to meet the goals, benchmarks, and expectations of other people - teachers, parents, clients, bosses, board of directors, or whoever.  But recently, I heard the best therapy advice that money can't buy.  Stop it.
     Yep.  Stop it. That was all to the therapy advice. Stop it.
     Stop trying to be a perfectionist.  Stop trying to manage everything on my own. Stop trying to meet the needs of other people to the exclusion of my own needs.  Stop cramming my schedule so full that I have no time to exercise, or to rest, or to just stop and smell the roses.  So, a few weeks ago I did just that.  I stopped.  I know, right?  I stopped.
     I had taken a short roadtrip to see my elderly grandmother.  On the way home I was meditating and listening to some soothing tunes as I drove through gorgeous countryside.  Usually I do not like to drive when it is raining because rains can vary dramatically- light, drippy, torrential (w/winds), heavy and gloomy, - especially if it is at night.  In one particular place I had lived several years ago, I had to commute several hundred miles at different times during the year.  In that part of the country, heavy rains were often accompanied by flash floods or tornadoes so I never wanted to get caught driving in potentially bad weather, especially alone.
     But on this particular Sunday afternoon, as I drove and listened to the soothing music, it just invited me into the landscape.  A couple of the tunes are from a particular series that incorporate instrumental music with nature sounds that have been recorded in various national parks around the country.  The gurgling streams, dripping rain, animals grunts, and bird calls combined with the mist on my windshield soothed the chaotic thoughts running amuck in my brain.
     The speed limit reduced considerably for the rural community I was passing through.  But that day, the winding river that peeked between the trees and the majestic mountains beckoned me to get out of the car.  I knew there was a long "to do" list on the edge of my desk at home and my laptop seldom sat idle...but today was about location.  Location and opportunity.  Opportunity wasn't knocking, it was calling my name.
So I answered.
     Even though it was overcast and had begun to sprinkle, a short walk, the mountain air, skipping a few stones across the water was refreshing to my spirit.  I had my camera with me.  This wasn't the type of vacation or weekend get-away that a person dreams of as a respite from the work world to unwind and de-stress. Even as I snapped a few photos of the river and the surrounding mountains I thought how those images would not be album quality or noteworthy to anyone else.  But to me, they were monumental.
     I love history so road trips throughout the United States typically include numerous stops for me to read signs, historical markers, or take side roads to inspect a "scenic viewpoint". That day wasn't a complete "vacation-like" stand still, but if there was a "historical" marker placed beside that river it would say "she stopped to smell the roses on this spot."

~ becoming unraveled ~

     It's a long tale, but simple really.  While many may interpret "unraveled" as coming undone, being damaged, ruined, in need of repair...to me, it is about being unfettered, uninhibited, unleashed or unbridled by imposed expectations, bias, or muzzled by conventions.  Unchained rather than unhinged.
     I am the sort that is moved by words, so my taste in decor and art runs toward pieces that incorporate words in some fashion.  And recently, I saw a piece that simply said "she believed that she could...so she did."  That is me.  It is all of us.  Whether you believe you can or you believe you can't do a thing...it is so.