~ stopping to smell the roses - really? ~

     Every time I start a project, I will plan, dream, build the vision in my head of what the end product will be like.  And then reality happens.  There is always some shortfall, pitfall, side-swipe, or road block of some fashion.  Whether it is time limitations, expectations (my own and those of other people), finances, etc, etc, etc.  I have spent 35+ years trying to meet the goals, benchmarks, and expectations of other people - teachers, parents, clients, bosses, board of directors, or whoever.  But recently, I heard the best therapy advice that money can't buy.  Stop it.
     Yep.  Stop it. That was all to the therapy advice. Stop it.
     Stop trying to be a perfectionist.  Stop trying to manage everything on my own. Stop trying to meet the needs of other people to the exclusion of my own needs.  Stop cramming my schedule so full that I have no time to exercise, or to rest, or to just stop and smell the roses.  So, a few weeks ago I did just that.  I stopped.  I know, right?  I stopped.
     I had taken a short roadtrip to see my elderly grandmother.  On the way home I was meditating and listening to some soothing tunes as I drove through gorgeous countryside.  Usually I do not like to drive when it is raining because rains can vary dramatically- light, drippy, torrential (w/winds), heavy and gloomy, - especially if it is at night.  In one particular place I had lived several years ago, I had to commute several hundred miles at different times during the year.  In that part of the country, heavy rains were often accompanied by flash floods or tornadoes so I never wanted to get caught driving in potentially bad weather, especially alone.
     But on this particular Sunday afternoon, as I drove and listened to the soothing music, it just invited me into the landscape.  A couple of the tunes are from a particular series that incorporate instrumental music with nature sounds that have been recorded in various national parks around the country.  The gurgling streams, dripping rain, animals grunts, and bird calls combined with the mist on my windshield soothed the chaotic thoughts running amuck in my brain.
     The speed limit reduced considerably for the rural community I was passing through.  But that day, the winding river that peeked between the trees and the majestic mountains beckoned me to get out of the car.  I knew there was a long "to do" list on the edge of my desk at home and my laptop seldom sat idle...but today was about location.  Location and opportunity.  Opportunity wasn't knocking, it was calling my name.
So I answered.
     Even though it was overcast and had begun to sprinkle, a short walk, the mountain air, skipping a few stones across the water was refreshing to my spirit.  I had my camera with me.  This wasn't the type of vacation or weekend get-away that a person dreams of as a respite from the work world to unwind and de-stress. Even as I snapped a few photos of the river and the surrounding mountains I thought how those images would not be album quality or noteworthy to anyone else.  But to me, they were monumental.
     I love history so road trips throughout the United States typically include numerous stops for me to read signs, historical markers, or take side roads to inspect a "scenic viewpoint". That day wasn't a complete "vacation-like" stand still, but if there was a "historical" marker placed beside that river it would say "she stopped to smell the roses on this spot."